Here’s the bad news: Every single conspiracy theory we dismissed in the last 50 years or so as deranged bodiless phantoms haunting the ideas of madmen, subject only to be entertained by the hygienically challenged, cerebral eunuchs one and all. Well, turns out to be true as fuck. (Even so, I still won’t believe in aliens until I’m in galactic stirrups being probed…. Meow.)
Here’s the good news: Our forefathers brought forth on this continent many brilliant brains, having already lived through the tumultuous tremors of historical circumstance, built by the hard-earned callous hands which fashioned for us all the tools of Constitutional Freedom.
The times demonstrate our increasingly dire need to remove corrupt governments, corrupted officials, and smite the blight of general corruption from our once hallowed lands. The time has come to reestablish and restore our inalienable right to freedom, in all its many delicious flavors. We cannot continue to stand idly by and allow the dreams of humanity to slip between our grease slick mchappy food fingers.
I will present my argument in demotivational format, because I think that’s how the constitution was presented originally.
Special thanks to liposuctor for being so well hung.
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